I was going to write about requesting DVDs at the library, but then a small miracle happened. By mistake, I clicked on a link with the broken mouse button, and it actually clicked through!

This is a miracle because some water spilled on my keyboard a while ago, and it disabled one of the trackpad click buttons -- the left one, to be exact. The one that you might use for just about everything (except when you need the right one, but that is almost never).

I practically took my computer apart trying to fix this problem. I was sure it was a contact, so I took out the keyboard and dusted and cleaned and still the thing didn't work. It must have fried the wiring.

How it started working for me today, I have no goddamn idea. In any case, I hope it lasts. Using it still makes me a little nervous, like the computer might change its mind. It would really suck if I wake up tomorrow morning and realise that the fixed button was just a dream.

Oh, about the DVD: it seems that the 80 available copies of Little Miss Sunshine at the library have 1038 holds on them. I, too, was going to request this Oscar-nominated film. When I saw the hold count, though, I balked at the idea and have since decided to hit the video store. Who wants to be the prat who signs up to be number 1039 in the queue? I mean really! I ran down the stairs, threw out my trash, and cheerily walked out of my building to my bicycle, parked across the street. Then I reached for my key. Wait a second... it wasn't there. I had consciously put it in the other pocket so as to segregate it from my house keys, and it wasn't there at all. In fact, it wasn't in either pocket, nor in my bag.

Damn. I figured it was upstairs so I (not so cheerily this time) walked back into my building and up the stairs, until I was in the same spot I had been just a minute ago, at the front door of my apartment, except now I was breathing heavily due to the climb up.

I took off and shook my coat, looked around on the floor, and still: nothing. Well, I figured, the key has got to be between my door and the bicycle across the street. That's just how these things work. So again I started down the stairs, this time meticulously scanning the floor with each footstep. At about the third floor, I realised what happened. I had thrown out my key with the garbage.

I retrieved them. Then, I washed my hands.

What is more amusing, however, is that I had thrown out my whole BAG with the garbage a few months earlier. I blame that stupidy on motor skills, and fact that it was three in the morning and I had just woken up. Aparently I am a scofflaw. Look it up! I didn't know what it meant, but now I am wiser. Yes, it is true.

I got a brilliant idea today. It was so good I couldn't even verbalise it properly, because I was laughing too hard. Okay. You have a meeting with some people who are high up in the company. The only thing they ask of you is the status of your part of the project. It gets pretty tedious. You're bored of their meetings and of their indifference. So this is what you do:

You take your notebook, and on one page, you draw a life-size representation of a hand with a certain finger sticking up sky-wards. Next, you attend the meeting, and sit quiety in your corner, I mean seat. When they call upon you to give them the status, you make as if you're scanning your notebook for your notes, flip to the designated page, and turn it so that it is facing away from you (and towards the rest of the room).

Then you proceed, "according to my records, we're well ahead of schedule..." and so on. They will be too stunned to listen to you. In fact, they will look at you quite differently after that.

You don't have to thank me. Just send me money via paypal.

Necessity.
Idiocy and other virtues.

ennui without order

• bike snob NYC
• ultraclay
• a tam in australia
• new york hack
• mikebot
• eurotrash
• this fish needs a bicycle
• on the face
• spicy children
• myasorubka
• massive red-eye
• jewschool
• malapoesia
• patently silly
• waiter rant

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