It would have made a good story, but ultimately, I did not have to put a magnet on the end of a high powered drill and move it around in front of my magnetised (new(!) giant(!)) television.

That is because newer models of CRT televisions have an automatic degauss built in. I learned all about it last night.

Another thing I learned is that I shouldn't put a subwoofer next to a CRT television.

This is the hazard of having an 'entertainment center'. It exploses me to all sorts of technological nonsense. Before the new(!) huge(!) TV, when my old TV was giving me problems, I decided to take it apart. Everyone warned me that I would get a big shock (literally) but that didn't happen. Instead, after I opened it up, I was confronted with a giant warning label, which told me that prolonged exposure to the insides of a TV is harmful to your health, might require an anti-radiation guard, and so on. I imagine that with the new television, it is exponentially worse.

On one hand: damaged health. On the other hand, I can now have people over for movie screenings! I just threw a CD out the window.

It floated through the air, frisbee-like, towards the building opposite. Then it hit the bricks just to the left of the fire escape, broke into two pieces, and fell to the ground.

If you don't recall, I live on the 6th floor.

It was a K-pop CD I found once, somewhere, a long time ago. But that's not important.

What is important is that I finally listened to it and it was really bad.

There is nothing quite like tossing stuff out of the window in the morning! I've been on a natural high (off and on) for about two days now. I keep seeing things that aren't there and laughing at things that, under normal circumstances, shouldn't be funny. The only exception was when we went into a deli after walking around in circles for close to an hour and stood around deciding what to get. D wanted soup, and, my motor skills dulled by exhaustion, I responded like a semi-slumbering food cart vendor: "no... soup... for you...".

That was actually really funny.

And now, every time I glance to my left, I think that my new(!) giant(!) television is a human being.

To add to the surreal visions all around me, a friend just told me about this game. I haven't played it, but I'm imagining Avoid the Noid on acid. I am going to have strange dreams, I know it already. I found an arsenal of old documents. I spent half the time reading them with a pained expression on my face. First off, I refuse to write another scholarship request. I will not compose another letter asking for financial aid, outlining the hardships faced by my family in a user-friendly bullet point format... that is, until it's my kids' turn to go to university. At that time, they can do it. I will gladly edit their work.

Then there were high school essays, most of themfor college applications, and all about me me me. They are full of misused vocabulary, strained connections, and (dare I say it?) clichés. I don't know where the clichés came from. Our english teachers hammered a distaste of them into our thick skulls. Anyway, the essays aren't awful, they're just off. Would it be better to destroy all these documents, and prevent myself from cringing every time I read them?

Frankly, I blame this country. America makes us tout our accomplishments. It strips us of our modesty. We fill pages and pages with them, and others judge us based on these exaggerations.

Maybe the problem is that I just never learned how to do it properly. Minute-by-minute account (with intermittent AIM conversations), because that is what blogs are for, anyway.

"Please give me a synonym for 'work' or 'worked'."

thesaurus.com

"What about 'high traffic'?"

Possible contenders:
* heavy volume
* popular
* large scale

"I just said popular. I don't really care. I don't want more work."

Is latency even a word, and if so, what does it really mean? Wikipedia...

How do I spell "scalable"? Hm, that doesn't look right.

Why can't I print to PDF? Goddamn microsoft!

Okay, I think I'm done. Wow, that was fast, fun, and easy.

Necessity.
Idiocy and other virtues.

ennui without order

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• ultraclay
• a tam in australia
• new york hack
• mikebot
• eurotrash
• this fish needs a bicycle
• on the face
• spicy children
• myasorubka
• massive red-eye
• jewschool
• malapoesia
• patently silly
• waiter rant

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